- I've long been a fan of Clementine Ford. Her two previous books, Fight Like a Girl and Boys Will Be Boys were just superb. In her new one, I Don't, she delivers once again. Indeed, she surpasses herself. She's passionate, inspirational and very persuasive, a writer of exceptional talent, and thus a real joy to read.
- Her prose is lively and punchy, and with a delicious comic edge, but what shines through is the depth and detail that supports her argument.
- Right from the start she serves up a radical proposition that I initially I found shocking. Yes, her target in the book is patriarchy, misogyny and sexism, but are we to condemn ancient wisdom expressed, for example, in the Book of Genesis and the story of Lilith, and the teachings of Plato, Aristotle, Darwin? But as she carefully dissects the legacies of these beliefs and their power, and the way marriage evolved as a business arrangement to grow a family's wealth, her arguments become increasingly persuasive.
- She explores the domestic role of women and its history: the male breadwinner/female homemaker, ‘traditional family values’ mindset - The fantasy men have of their Stone Age selves as ripped dudes tearing the flesh of an animal apart with their bare hands is ludicrous. You’re an accountant Jeff. Are you going to bore the wildebeest to death?
- She references some powerful women from history: poet Emilia Bassano who was a strong influence on Shakespeare; pioneering feminist philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft; Olympe de Gouges, an outspoken opponent of the French colonial slave trade who wrote Declaration of the Rights of Women and the Female Citizen; Emmeline Pankhurst, political activist.
- At the other end there's ‘the human-sized lizard known as Piers Morgan' and the Murdoch ‘hate-filled chorus of lunatics'.
- Ford leaves nothing untouched. She castigates the whole marriage industry: the cliches of engagements and rings, the boring sameness of banal wedding ceremonies and their dumb speeches, the bridal gown (it must be white) cliches, wives taking their husband’s surname. Why? She asks, is there any real meaning to any of this popular culture, TV sitcom, junk?
- We seem to respect the legal obligations of marriage, the 'contract', the oversight of the state that provides institutional protection such as child support. But is that necessary any more when de facto partnerships are also included?
- Towards the end of the book Ford becomes more personal. She becomes angrier, providing a description of abuse on every level, destroying the myth of male protection. ‘And I don’t need or want men to provide for me. What I want is the right to provide for myself’.
- She describes in excruciating detail the incredibly difficult birth of her son, and the painful ordeal of giving birth in general. The final chapter called ‘Motherfucker' is a searing account of the frequent sexual abuse of young mothers, because men can't wait.
- My one criticism of the book is Ford's refusal to countenance the existence, which is obvious to all of us who've lived long enough, of marriages that are successful on just about every level. There are good men, sensitive and caring and committed to their partners and children. Their love is genuine and they are loved and treasured in return.
- However, despite this, Ford has written a powerful book that deserves to be widely read.
You know, people spit the accusation man hater at me like there aren't five billion fucking reasons why I and any other woman with a brain have no choice but to hate them. But it's not really accurate to say that I'm a man hater. Saying I hate men gives them too much power. What I think I really am is a man seer. I see men in the way we're not supposed to see them, in the endless ways they contradict the myths of their morality and greatness and the ways in which they enforce their hatred of women over and over again.
I see men for who they are, and I know too many of the secrets they want to keep hidden. It's not why I hate them. It's why they hate me.
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